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Saturday 5.7.05: Restless

Our video project for the zoo was well received on Thursday morning, but I had to wait till Friday PM to get the final feedback from reviewers. So suddenly there was a great space yawning in front of me.

It was not the space where I am suddenly energized to catch up on dormant projects or new ambitions.

It was the kind of space where I just... stare into space. No energy. No ambition. But not really exhausted enough to sack out for an extended time. So I installed new software, did the laundry, watched aimless TV.

A few years back, I got the domain name "" and I was going to write some kind of web-based 'zine, different from this site. I had a manifesto, which I once posted here, but apparently the page is archived somewhere. It went like this:

  • Restlessness of the mind, heart, and spirit should be translated into action
  • But new lives begin in the mind... write it down, play it out.
  • Men have historically been able to do this more easily... time for women to learn
  • People who are content and self-satisfied: go elsewhere. If you think you've discovered the secret of happiness, go away.
  • Restless women, women in transition need a space for exploration, for figuring out how to turn anxiety into action
  • But men can't be excluded (men in transition need compassion, too)
  • Trying on alternate identities and new personas is fair to nurture the exploration.
  • To those who would have us waiting for them, for those who want us to believe their lives are so much more important than ours: "Sorry. Gotta go."

Hmmm... not bad. But yesterday's restlessness was not a fever -- more a torpor.

Today I we're going to the zoo to get a little more footage and I'll be back to work on my project. The restlessness will be channeled again -- a river held within narrow banks, moving fast, no longer a boggy swamp.







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