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Monday, 1.10.05: Feeling Blank

This is one of those mornings where I get up and stare blankly at the screen, wondering what to write about. I have not been in a very creative or expressive mood. My writing has been terrible. I am not ambitious.

On my desk are little scraps of paper with various goal statements -- New Year's resolution ideas -- the ones that go beyond "eat right, exercise more." They promise to get out there! make connections! get my writing noticed! be productive! make tiny gemlike movies!

Ho-hum. Maņana. Apparently, for the moment, I can be in only one groove or the other. Artiste or ebay sales tactician. I scold myself: shouldn't I be able to do creative work in the mornings, then pop into my other grooves afternoon and evening?

But then I dive for the hidden meaning: when I get into organizing and selling moods it reflects my need to "clear out space," not just physically but mentally. Last year I did it with purses and with books. That burst of reorganization and clearing out led to my getting some radio productions done, so maybe I simply need to go with the flow.



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